Limericks for 2011
If a diamond's a wonderful thing
Losing seven such pieces of bling
For a whole sixteen years
Is enough to cause tears ...
Till they're found on a one-carrot ring!
(December, 2011)
Story
here
In Samoa and on Tokelau
They've decided the future is now
So they're throwing away
A December Fri-day
And their year takes an earlier bow!
(December, 2011)
Story
here
Any place where an elephant goes
With its big curly trunk of a nose
And its huge floppy ears
It apparently steers
With not twenty but twenty-four toes!
(December, 2011)
Story
here
When Governor Perry's campaigning
For Prez, he has trouble abstaining
From liquor's temptation
And facing the nation
Forgets what key point he's explaining!
(November, 2011)
Fifty-six was too early to d-i
For the visionary Apple's top g-i
Who brought desktops i-had
And i-Pod and i-Pad ...
Yet Steve Jobs has now waved us goodb-i!
(October, 2011)
A mouse with ideas of stowing
Away on the flight of a Boeing
Is skilfully dodging
All traps in its lodging
And stopping the airplane from going!
(September, 2011)
Story
here
When an earthquake's directed to sock
US Congress and cause a great shock ...
Do you think angry gods
Are severely at odds
With Republicans causing grid-lock?
(August, 2011)
In the Women's World Cup, the US
Lost to Sweden by scoring one less
Then just squeezed by Brazil
Then outplayed France's skill—
But Japan stole their final success!
(July, 2011)
Pus-sy Cat, Pus-sy Cat, where've you been?
Up to London to visit the Queen? ...
No, the Duke's whom I saw
For to shake his grand paw
And to say, "Happy Birthday, Old Bean!"
(June, 2011)
Her esteemed Royal Highness the Queen
Wearing shamrocks and emerald green
Drew out many a smile
Touring Erin's fair isle—
Where no monarch from Britain had been!
(May, 2011)
If you seek where to earn a degree
In a subject called Art Histor-y
And while not at your books
Catch a prince with your looks ...
Then St. Andrews is it to a tee!
(April, 2011)
A Gallup World Poll calculation
Of who has how happy a nation
Makes Africa's Togo
Quite simply a no-go—
While Danes have the most jubilation!
(March, 2011)
Story
here
An aged Egyptian dictator
Whose power could scarcely be greater
Who vowed to rule on
Till his marbles had gone
Has now scarpered—more sooner than later!
(February, 2011)
Once a cell phone dropped over a wall
Where a crocodile swallowed it all
Now he won't eat a thing ...
But his stomach will ring
Very loudly, should anyone call!
(January, 2011)
Story
here
Once a very rich dude called Rick Scott
Spent so much of the money he'd got
On a vote-buying spree
That in Florida he
Owns the gubernatorial slot!
(January, 2011)
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