Limericks for 2010
There once was a young Playboy bunny
Who made an old geezer her honey ...
Although the old geezer
Was too old to please 'er
She hoped to inherit his money!
(December, 2010)
Story here
Once a Hollywood actor called Snipes
Gave the Revenue Service some gripes
They complained he was lax
By not paying his tax—
Now he's one of those jail-inmate types!
(December, 2010)
Story here
A bishop of London called Peter
Chastised as a royal mistreater
Said: When I disparage
Celebrity marriage
In future I'll be much discreeter!
(November, 2010)
Story here
A determined young damsel called Kate
Said, "I'll marry you, prince, just you wait!" ...
Then through thick and through thin
Slowly she reeled him in—
And next April's their big wedding date!
(November, 2010)
After seventeen days underground
Thirty-three buried miners were found
After fifty three more
They came up through the floor ...
Quite alive, overjoyed, homeward bound!
(October, 2010)
It's farewell to old Charlie the chimp
One whose style wasn't easy to crimp
An addiction became
The main source of his fame—
Cigarettes, on which he did not skimp!
(October, 2010)
Story here
The British commission on charities
On noting enough similarities
'Twixt churches with steeples
And Druidic peoples
Officially waives their disparities!
(October, 2010)
Story here
In September the Congress adjourns
And abandons the people's concerns
For campaigning ... but why? ...
Why not just toss a die
And work through to the end of their turns?
(September, 2010)
'Twas an August without a big storm
No Katrina did threaten to form
So few rain clouds did burst
It seems almost a first—
But I wish it could be the new norm!
(August, 2010)
Once an octopus psychic named Paul
Did predict Dutch and Germans would fall
In their battles with Spain ...
Not for military gain
But to win the World Cup at foot-ball!
(July, 2010)
Story here and here
In South Africa's World Cup first round
At each ground, vuvuzelas abound ...
What this horn mainly does
Is incessantly buzz—
Which, I've found, means all sound gets all drowned!
(June, 2010)
Your gas tank needs constant re-filling
So British Petroleum's drilling
For oil in deep water ...
I don't think they oughta
Until they've learnt how to stop spilling!
(May, 2010)
Kathleen Parker, who patiently tries
Saving males, 'cos she lives with four guys
And reflects on the news
With conservative views
Is awarded a Pulitzer Prize!
(April, 2010)
Story
here
When the clocks are moved forward in spring
Govern-ments crow of daylight sa-ving
But the light in a day
Is the same either way ...
It just shortens my time for slee-ping!
(March, 2010)
A dancer's a beautiful mover
A curler's a slider and hoover
A luger does hurtle
A skier's no turtle ...
And all are on show in Vancouver!
(February, 2010)
Tampa's first New Year babe born and weighed
Whose arrival was slightly delayed
Has for nearest of kin
An identical twin
Who was born in a different dec-ade!
(January, 2010)
Story
here
© 2010. All rights reserved.
To return to the top of the page, click here.