Limericks for 2009
Despite a whole week of brain-storming
World leaders proved failures at forming
Consensus on whether
They're working together
To slow or to speed global warming!
(December, 2009)
Story
here
There's concern for a spectacled bear
At a zoo in east Germany, where
Though her eyes test just fine
(And much better than mine)
She has lost almost all of her hair!
(November, 2009)
Story
here
A museum inscription once read:
"From Amelia Earhart's own head" ...
Till her "hair" was assessed
By a DNA test—
Now her "hair" isn't hair, it's just thread!
(October, 2009)
Story
here
An old dame who recalled the Great Crash
Did not trust any banks with her cash
Which she secretly stored
In a mattress ... Oh, Lord! ...
Now she's broke, 'cos it's gone to the trash!
(October, 2009)
Story
here
A Republican, out to defy
Told Obama in Congress, "You lie!" ...
And in less than a day
He'd raised 500K
For the Democrats' challenger guy!
(September, 2009)
Story
here
Once a Kenyan did firmly espouse
With a Clinton to trade marriage vows
Said he, "Chelsea I'd woo
For my wife number two
With three score of my goats and my cows!"
(August, 2009)
Story
here
A Briton fulfilled her odd notion
To be through her own locomotion
The first woman rowing
Her boat solo going
Across the whole Indian ocean!
(August, 2009)
Story
here
In New Hampshire, a smoker did get
Such high taxes on each cigarette
When he bought just one pack ...
If he paid it all back
He'd have wiped out the national debt!
(July, 2009)
Story
here
If the bells for old Madoff don't chime
Till he's served fifteen years of his time
It's a greater return
Than investors would earn
On a dollar—not even a dime!
(June, 2009)
Story
here
A three-year old girl had been peeping
At auctions for toys for her keeping
But wanted one bigger—
A giant real digger—
And bought it online with Mum sleeping!
(May, 2009)
Story
here
There was once an old horse called Mon Mome
Who at Aintree's Grand National did roam
At a hundred to one ...
Just like old Foinav-on ...
And like him was the first to race home!
(April, 2009)
A Wall Street tycoon said: You loan us
Enough for a fabulous bonus
To boost our commissions ...
With no pre-conditions
And taxpayers bearing the onus!
(March, 2009)
A Health nominee called Tom Daschle
Who thought, "My huge bundle of cash'll
If taxless, near double" ...
Then ran into trouble
Withdrew, and was gone in a flaschle!
(February, 2009)
Obama! Obama! Obama!
I watch that inaugural drama ...
Not freezing in D.C.
But home in a fleecy
Warm bed in a woollen pajama!
(January, 2009)
'Tis farewell to you, George. Though we rue
That your leaving's eight years overdue
We no longer regret
That you haven't gone yet ...
So farewell—and Barack, bienvenue!
(January, 2009)
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