Limericks for 2007
A chap called Barack did once pillory
The front-running Democrat, Hillary
For taking each side ...
As in war, where she's tried
To be for, and against, more artillery!
(November, 2007)
Once some gents who disliked Paris loos
Did the walls of great buildings abuse ...
Now their bases are flared—
So that any who dared
Would have very wet trousers and shoes!
(November, 2007)
To Al Gore, said George Bush: "I've heard tell
With two prizes this year you've done well" ...
To George Bush, said Al Gore:
"Now three wins are my score ...
The Election. An Oscar. Nobel!"
(October, 2007)
Said General David Petraeus:
"Iraq's no lost cause that can't pay us! ...
From border to border
It's merely disorder ...
How dare they, who say it is chaos!"
(September, 2007)
There once was a gal called Leona
Who left her dog more than a bona ...
Those twelve million dollars
Will buy lots of collars
To pamper her canine persona!
(August, 2007)
"Since you lied," said George Bush, "to help me
And Dick Cheney avoid scrutin-ee
Of our wrongdoing, Scooter ...
As Sentence Commuter
I order that you remain free!"
(July, 2007)
Said George Bush to the Pope: "I prefer
Where decorum's required, to demur ...
And your darned Holiness
Ain't a form of address
I would use ... so I'm calling you Sir!"
(June, 2007)
Said the Queen to George Bush: "You're excused
For not knowing which fork to have used ...
As for being an ass
Who lacks all gravitas—
Though we smile, we are far from amused!"
(May, 2007)
A Kate who was recently dating
An heir to a throne and debating
How soon she'd be seen
As the Brits' future queen ...
Is, alas, an ex princess-in-waiting!
(April, 2007)
Guatemala this month got a fright
From George Bush, the Renowned Impolite ...
Now high priests purify
To make bad spirits fly
From an archaeological site!
(March, 2007)
An astronaut not on a mission
Was planning an earthly sedition ...
While wearing a hyper-
Absorbent space diaper
She'd strangle her love competition!
(February, 2007)
Once a great Good Samaritan said
As he rescued a man from the dead:
Not two inches below
Where that train did just go
Lay the hair on the top of my head!
(January, 2007)
© 2007. All rights reserved.
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