Limericks for 2006
Though with holly they've decked every hall
Though a Santa adorns every mall
It's politically not
Quite correct, but so what? ...
Merry Christmas to you, one and all!
(December, 2006)
Said George Bush, feeling quite resolute:
"Don must stay, I will hear no dispute —
Of Defense, he's our pride" ...
But the voters replied
The next day and gave Rumsfeld the boot!
(November, 2006)
What a deal! What a deal! What a deal!
Doesn't matter how much you did steal:
Guilt will leave not a trace
On your innocent face ...
If you die with your case on appeal!
(October, 2006)
So holy, so holy, so holy
Republican Congressman Foley
Sends too-lurid emails
To too-young non-females ...
And plummets from highly to lowly!
(October, 2006)
Once a ball boy whose team had shot wide
And in seconds would be losing side
Did the ball quickly get
Then tap into the net ...
And the referee said, "Now it's tied!"
(September, 2006)
Once a woman from old Ecuador
Who was born in the grand days of yore
Said, "A whole century
Ain't enough life for me ... "
So she lived over sixteen years more!
(August, 2006)
Once Zidane, who had captained the French
Felt an insult too hurtful to quench ...
So he head-butted hard
And was shown a red card
And returned to the dressing-room bench!
(July, 2006)
There was once a tycoon called Ken Lay
Who faced jail time for more than a day ...
Said this crook: I'm destroyed
But jail time I'll avoid —
Even if I must first pass away!
(July, 2006)
Now the lexicographical beast
Tells us usage of "time" has increased
And it's winning hands down
As the world's most used noun ...
'Cos we talk most of what we have least?
(June, 2006)
"My Iraq sprint has turned mara-thon"
Moans George Bush, "and Dick's stupid arms con
Was a very bad bet ...
But what I most regret
Is regretting I said 'Bring 'em on!'"
(May, 2006)
Said George Bush: Now then, Scooter, look see
There are two kinds of leaks in DC ...
To go blab to the news
Is high treason for yous —
But declassification for me!
(April, 2006)
Says George Bush: I am making a hash
Of the budget, there'll soon be no cash
'Cos I started the war
That our soldiers die for ...
So their benefits now must I slash!
(March, 2006)
Said Dick Cheney: "At hunting I'm ace
Of these quail I shall bag me a brace" ...
As he shot, yelps were heard ...
He had hit, not a bird
But his GOP friend in the face!
(February, 2006)
What's in store for two thousand and six
Is a subject of which I know nix ...
Though it's safe to assume
That my schedule has room
For a dozen or more limer-icks!
(January, 2006)
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