Topical Acrostic Sonnets

 Boris Unleashed

 Believe in me. This modest ego trip
 Of fewer than eight hundred pages will
 Retell the story of my statesmanship.
 In retrospect, it will appear as skill.
 Spare's author, whom, with manly pep talks, I
 Urged not to leave GB, may claim we had
 No chats; the Palace may flat out deny
 Liz R had sought my help; that Oxford grad
 Ennobled, Dave, who fought the Brexiteer
 And lost, may yet gainsay aspersions he
 Slung swearingly my way; and polls, I hear,
 Have found that voters too do not trust me.
 Et tu, Brute? ... The joke may soon hit home,
 Dear reader—you have bought a rubbish tome!

 (First published in Light on 21st October, 2024 as
  one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)
 Diverse* Coterie

 Drunk elephants, well-oiled non-human apes,
 Intoxicated pen-tailed tree-shrews, moose
 Vamoosing tipsily, and rats who traipse
 Erratically on alcoholic juice
 Reveal it's nature's nature to abhor
 Sobriety. This diverse coterie
 Evolved a drinking habit long before
 Commercial vineyards: drinking had to be
 Of some survival benefit ... In flies,
 The jilted male can drink his sorrows, and
 Eggs females lay when drunk stint fewer guys ...
 Research concludes it's time to understand,
 Inebriation's not a human trait
 Exclusively—all beasts self-medicate!
  *Pronounced with stress on first syllable
 (First published in Light on 4th November, 2024
  as one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)
 Get Me Out Of Here!

 G'day from way down under, from below
 Earth's surface, where I hope to find the phone
 That found a crevice when I stubbed my toe.
 My selfie-taking skills, so hard to hone,
 Everted me while wedging both my pins
 On top of me between two rocks ... I've been
 Upended now for over sixty mins—
 Though didn't I just see you, smartphone screen,
 On life support and calling out to me
 For help? Or does this blood-filled head mean I
 Hallucinate, and we're both doomed to be
 Eternally apart? ... So long, goodbye,
 Rock-exploration selfie-taking gear ...
 Excuse my grief. Now get me out of here!

 (First published on 4th November, 2024 in
  Oddball Magazine. Story here)
 Scarlet Tanager

 Shelf, miles from North America, is where
 Committed British twitchers flocked to catch
 A sighting, as a songbird that is rare
 Reviewed its options on its foreign patch:
 Look here for mates—for other refugees
 Escaping Trump's US? Risk flying back,
 To somewhere south of Florida's high seas—
 Though not to Haiti, where there's too much flak?
 Advance, to where a songbird wouldn't freeze—
 North Africa? Although warm winds invite
 A scarlet tanager, would lack of trees
 Give raptors easy pickings for a bite? ...
 Excited twitching never harmed a bird—
 Remaining Shelf-bound surely is preferred!

 (First published in Light on 18th November, 2024 as
  one of the Poems of the Week. Story here)
 I'm Undocumented

 I pass you on the street. I can't be missed.
 My presence is as real as yours to see,
 Until you tell me that I don't exist:
 Not dead, and not unborn, but sans ID,
 Denied a passport by officialdom—
 Officialdom whose rules insist that I'm
 Called immigrant, and hence that I am from
 Un-British parts where I've spent zero time.
 My twenty-six long years of legal non-
 Existence in my country will retard
 Not only me: a nation prospers on
 The worth of all, like me, who can work hard ...
 Except that I'm undocumented, and
 Don't qualify—nor do I understand.

 (First published in the New Verse News on 30th
  November, 2024. Story here)
 Winter Holidays

 White Christmases are few and far between
 In Florida. But I recall a white
 Noel in nineteen-eighty-nine: the scene,
 That Christmas Eve, was snowy half the night.
 Extremely early risers saw their lawn
 Repose beneath an inch or two of snow.
 However, warmer weather came at dawn
 On Christmas Day, and left no snow to show
 Late-rising folk ... Fast forward to this year:
 In England, I await another white
 December 25. Though warmth, good cheer
 And family fill Christmas with delight,
 Yule logs burn brighter on a whiter street—
 Snow makes your winter holidays complete!

 (First published on 8th December, 2024 in the
  Creativity Webzine)



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