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Jorge Bergoglio Joe Ratzinger's a marvel. He gets ten Off me for walking when his sun had set— Retiring from his job as pontiff when God told him he was past it—though he'd get Eleven if the saintly fellow would Be called, not Benedict, but Joe the Pope Emeritus, and twelve if Joseph could Remember his white cassocks are a nope! ... Go back to Argentina, or be found On Vatican estates, if I step down? Good heavens, no! Don't let me hang around, Let Jorge hold confessions in the town If he retires ... But I'm not going yet— Or you'll get some hardliner I'll regret! (First published in the New Verse News on 28th August, 2022. Story here) |
Loop-The-Loopily Let me regale you with my dizzy tale Of winging it, of flying by the seat Of my own pants—kept near a water pail, Preventing fire when truth is incomplete. Three happy years of cockpit feats mean I Have looped the loop on Brexit, barrel-rolled Exchequer funds, pulled Gs—that's where you fly Low, loop-the-loopily, and may lose hold On consciousness—to help me weasel out Of treaties that I should have read, and have Perfected riding out a tailspin bout In Downing Street. But now my broken nav Leaves me with no control, usurped by ... who?— You know I'd launch them spaceward if I knew! (First published in Light on 25th July, 2022 as one of the Poems of the Week. Story here) |
Facing The Music From having crashed while drunk against a shop, A driver opted to take flight, but got Chased hard by somebody who wouldn't stop In hot pursuit through streets, a garden spot Nearby, and farmers' fields, until the chase Got interrupted when a fence appeared. The fugitive jumped over it, to face His fate: A bird to whom he's not endeared Expressed the outrage of a threatened mom— Malicious pecks in lieu of angry words— Until he chose to face the music from Some cops instead, as flight was for the birds ... If you're intent on dodging justice, then Choose not to hide inside an emu pen! (First published on 9th August, 2022 in Autumn Sky Poetry Daily. Story here) |
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Hefty Sum Of Cash Humongous wealth lets Bezos have his way Except in Rotterdam, where going Dutch Fragments the heft of anyone who'd pay The bill in full. If you can spare that much, You shouldn't flaunt it, lower than the sea, Since being only average—good enough— Unites the Dutch. Here no man's thought to be More suited by his wealth to strut his stuff Or build a lavish triple-masted yacht Far higher than the Hef's iconic span Can fit above, then hustle—since he's got A Hefty sum of cash—to let this man Sail past a part-dismantled Hef ... Now Jeff Has learned his grade for civics—it's an F! (First published in Light on 8th August, 2022 as one of the Poems of the Week. Story here) |
A Good Head Start A good head start won't guarantee your feat Gets carried off by feet you're carried on, Or clear your head to see why you're dead beat One fraction through your ultramarathon. Draught Guinness is a potion fit for gods High up on Mount Olympus, yet this grand Elixir isn't brewed to raise your odds At overcoming nausea on your planned Day trip from west to east. For that, you need Some cereal bars, U2's whole catalog, The stranger who shows up to take the lead, And being fed bananas while you jog Relentlessly—but, once you've crossed the line, That second pint of Guinness tastes divine! (First published in Light on 15th August, 2022 as one of the Poems of the Week. Story here) |
Awareness of Wye Along the River Wye, we wonder why We see a strange contraption move downstream: A statue on canoes is paddled by Riparian enthusiasts, who seem Encouraged by attention they have won Nearby. But why? The Belmont Abbey choir Erupts in plainsong when those gents are done, Suggesting that their goal is to acquire Some faithful ... Yet, it's not to fill the pews: Our Lady of the Waters and the Wye Floats down a Wye chock-full of chicken poos, Which calls for ruffling feathers perched on high. You can't raise Wye awareness till you plot Events that look quite bonkers but ... are not? (First published in Light on 22nd August, 2022 as one of the Poems of the Week. Story here) |