|
Walrus Wanderer Whilst snoozing on an iceberg, you must guard Against the chance of sliding out to sea, Lest you wash up so far from your back yard, Returning home is tough to guarantee! ... Unless ... you have a mind to wander far, Since walrus adolescence is the time When you assess how strong the others are And, if you'd lose a fight, await your prime, Not where they'd beat you up, but far off south, Down by the coast of Kerry on some rocks, Enchanting locals, while you stuff your mouth Rapaciously with clam and mussel stocks, Engorging on delights from Dingle Bay— Resolved to reach a tonne, then glide away! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on March 22, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Luck Of The Irish Long odds of 1 to more than 20K Unsealed an Irish wallet for a punt. Clairoyance made its twenty euros pay King's-ransom-size returns from National Hunt! Outsiders ask: How were four horse names picked Full three months in advance to win four-fold? The odds were huge at least one horse got licked— How could the punter know they'd all strike gold? ... Experienced horse whisperers' loose lips Inform me that when leprechauns get caught, Release should be exchanged for racing tips— It irks them when their precious gold is sought! ... So I believe a bargain wisely struck Has brought this punter classic Irish luck! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on March 29, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Up The Union Jack! United Kingdom? Not in Scotland's view— Proud Scots are too fed up with English rule! Their wish to leave, and stay in the EU, Has scared the Brexiteer from Eton School, Elected to rule Britain as a whole— Unruly Scots refuse to let him be Naysayer to an independence poll! ... In desperation, he opts to decree: On any civic building, there must fly No EU sign, no saltire, no Welsh rag— Just bold Britannia's banner hoisted high! ... And true Scots sigh while Boris, with his flag, Can't understand why only Sassenachs Keep British buildings flying Union Jacks! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on April 5, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
|
Discontentacle Down under, he who underestimates Invertebrate intelligence may learn Shy octopuses' antisocial traits Can leave him nursing welts that sting and burn! ... Off beaches you should stay if you can't read No-Paparazzi signs in mollusc-speak: To film a bashful octopus you need Express permission, or you'll rue each streak Neurotic arms deposit on your skin To warn you not to post your videos— And if you do, its discontented kin Come back for you next year to strike more blows! ... Lest suction-disc-on-tentacle red welts Erupt again, don't post your film ... or else! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on April 12, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Edinburgh's Duke Escorting Queen Elizabeth, I found Dontopedalogy impelled my foot. Its whereabouts in public were renowned: Not often in my mouth was it not put! Blabbed I about the Princess Royal's life: Unless it farts or gobbles hay, our Anne Refuses interest! And when a wife Gets car doors always opened by her man, His car or else his wife is new, I'd quip! Such humor was my way to master my Dislike of pomp ... My last trick was to skip UK-wide hundredth birthday rites, which I Knew I would hate—and, since I reckoned thus, Expired before ... So I dodged all the fuss! (First published in Light on April 19, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Killer Instinct? Krakovians felt threatened by a beast. Its snout was fluted, strangely like its tail. Loose folds of flaky skin, uncouthly creased, Looked Super Scary on the reptile scale! Emergency responders heard this plea, Relayed in urgent tones: "Please neutralize Iguana-like wild menace up a tree— No window's safe to open till it dies, Since it could leap inside our homes to kill The lot of us! It's frightening the town— It's lurking in that lilac tree and will Not go away. So please, please take it down!"... Crew members scrambled to the lilac ... where ... They found an old French pastry was the scare! (Prompted by this article and first published on July 31, 2021 in the Creativity Webzine) |