|
By Any Other Name By any other name, no taste's the same: You can't pretend it doesn't matter if A megrim sole is served with some alt. name— No diner orders scaldfish or a whiff! Yum-yum's not what you'd say if your soufflé Of seafood had a spider-crabby sound, Though if the Cornish King crab's your entrée, How eagerly that selfsame dish is downed! ... Exporting's now a megrim for the Brits. Renaming megrim sole as Cornish sole Not only makes it edible, but it's A way to make Brits love their seafood shoal! ... Marine cuisine served up as Cornish food Ensures EU red tape can be eschewed! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on February 15, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Tenerife Relief The Garda wondered why I had to fly: "Essential travel?" asked he, with a smirk. "Necessitated by my teeth," said I— "Extractions and some other dental work!" "Requiring you to fly to Tenerife? I find it hard to swallow!" quipped the cop. "Faith, so do I! That's why I need relief," Exclaimed myself. "This toothache will not stop!" "Relief," pressed he, "comes only if you pay Exotic dentists? Ireland's will not do? Lots more say they have toothache too today— If you seek sun, I doubt your story's true!" ... "Examine here," moaned I, "and feel my pain!" ... "For God's sake, close your mouth and board the plane!" (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on February 22, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Harry and Meghan How do you keep the perks of royal life, Avoiding all the duties it entails— Remain Your Royal Highness when your wife Reveals no love for ribbon-cutting trails? Yes, London has been left behind for good, As we prefer escaping from the press, Not in old England, but in Hollywood— Dispensing royal glamor for largesse! Modernity's what forced our final break: Elizabeth, we think, is too passé. God Save the Queen, but we would rather make Her grandson free to profit all the way, And though not patrons, since we're absentee, Now we're still royal spirits—duty-free! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on March 1, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
|
Papal Longevity Pope Francis does not like to exercise, As it would leave too little time for sleep: Postprandial siestas, in his eyes, Are sacred rites a pope is bound to keep! Lord knows, at eighty-four, he's going strong: Longevity prevails, but not the gym. Old J.S. Bach is why this pope lives long— Non-Catholic composers rock for him! God's on his side, and after lunch, so's he, Enrobed—though shoeless, he won't doff his gown. Vin rouge and pasta seem to be so key, Inducing this life-lengthening lie-down! ... The sedentary pope prompts doctors' fears— Yet he may still outlive them all by years! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on March 8, 2021 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Ms. Sophie Pender My name is Sophie. Don't look down on me! So what, if you talk posh, and scorn low-cost? Since I met you, at university, Our paths have never frictionlessly crossed! Posh accents and the privilege they buy Have short-changed us poor chavs for far too long. It's time the ninety-three percent decry Entitlement for private schools as wrong! ... Pooh-poohing state-school kids as unrefined, Excluding us from chances to succeed, No longer will be suffered by my kind— Determined, as we are, that you will heed Elitist education taught by me: Remember to respect the Ninety-Three! (Prompted by this article and first published in the New Verse News on March 12, 2021) |
The Royal Family The institution headed by the Queen Has had its ups and downs. But now's the worst Elizabeth the Second's ever seen— Republicans down Coors to slake their thirst! Once Oprah's show had aired on CBS, You sensed it could be fatal to the Crown, Alleging hurtful royal ugliness: Lies, heartlessness, and allergy to brown! ... France gloats: we hate to say we told you so! And Russia crows: A hundred years too late! Meg's interview, with Harry held in tow, Is tell-all, making vultures salivate! ... Let's all Keep Calm. The monarch has not gone— You know she'll just drink tea and Carry On! (Prompted by Oprah With Meghan and Harry: A CBS Primetime Special and first published in Oddball Magazine on March 15, 2021) |