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A U-Turn On A V-Sign As every schoolchild knows, or must suppose, "Up yours!" is not what Churchill's V-sign meant, Though painting him in underpants and hose Unwisely welcomes priggish discontent! Resolved that Winston's mural was too rude, Naff Brighton Council ordered: "Overpaint— Obscenity in public shan't be viewed!" ... No trousers on, did that cause this complaint? ... All in the nick of time, the truth came out: Vast ignorance of Churchill's time prevailed. Some councillors, in law, may have some clout. In history, abysmally, all failed! ... Go see the mural as it was before— No longer rude, its V means "won this war!" (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on November 30, 2020 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
You Got Cher, Babe! You should not pen a pining pachyderm, Observed to be still grieving his first mate— Until a second mate to date long-term Gives him the eye, he'll mope, and put on weight! Once heavy both in body and in mind, The elephant becomes a sickly beast: Cher found Kaavan both lonely and resigned. Her goal became to have her babe released ... Eats changed to fruit and veg from sugar cane. Renditions of Sinatra filled the air. Babe—Cher's Kaavan—slimmed down, to board a plane, And smiled once more to hear songs sung by Cher ... Because of Cher, Cambodia awaits— Enticing Babe to chase prospective mates! (Prompted by this article and first published on December 29, 2020 in the Creativity Webzine) |
A Star Ecologist An English beaver's not a common sight, Since long ago the hunter failed to doubt The value in its fur. The price seemed right. A star ecologist was thus wiped out ... Reintroducing beavers to wild spots Enables their diversity to rise: Canals make wetland habitat for lots Of birds and frogs and fish and dragonflies. Lakes formed by beaver dams slow flow downstream: Once beavers can move in, we should not see Gigantic sums spent on some drainage scheme— It costs to build what beavers build for free! So let's encourage beavers and say "Cheers!" To nature's ecosystem engineers! (Prompted by this article and first published in Current Conservation on December 22, 2020 with illustrations by Shivani Shenoy) |
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Deliver Me My Dad! Dear Santa, I don't often see my dad: Express-van driving means that he gets free Long after I'm in bed. It makes me sad— I wish my dad could spend more time with me! ... Vans don't seem to deliver parcels right, Especially when they're compared to sleighs: Round all the world you go in just one night— My dad can't do one town in seven days! ... Each day, while he's away, I wonder why My dad's employer can't produce a fix— Your ways are so efficient, could you try, Dear Santa, to teach UPS some tricks? And if you help—I truly am sincere— Dear Santa, I'll be good throughout the year! (Prompted by this article and first published in Light on December 14, 2020 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
Academic Doctor An Epstein asks that I, Jill Biden, stop Continued use of "Dr." with my name, As I can't hand out pills or do an op— Doc Kissinger is handicapped the same! Epsteinian opinion has been filed: Man wisely once said "Doc" should not be used If you have not delivered someone's child— Concerning which, of fraud I stand accused! ... Dear Mr. Epstein, though you mis-compared Our doctorates—yours doled out free, mine earned, Can you not see your own words have you snared? They verify my "Doc" should not be spurned, Once with your wise man's sayings reconciled— Remember I delivered my own child! (First published in Light on December 21, 2020 as one of the Poems of the Week) |
On Christmas Day On Christmas Eve, there were no toys to see. Next day you were hard pressed to see the floor. Consumerism piled around the tree— How splendid for the owners of the store! ... Relations whom you asked to be restrained Ignored your pleas and stacked their presents high, So when your children saw how much they gained, The glut perplexed them, and they asked you: "Why? ... May we return some toys we got today, As Santa left too much for us to take?— Some kids will have no toys, since Santa's sleigh Delivered theirs to our house by mistake!" ... And then you smiled with pride to realize Your kids, though very young, were yet so wise! (First published on December 29, 2020 in the Creativity Webzine) |