The Ultra Low
Emission Zone
Is plumbers' foe:
You need a loan
To buy a van
That dumps a lot
Less carbon than
The van you've got.
And since you can't
Afford to pay,
A scrappage grant
Will help defray
Your massive bill
A little, though
Your bill is still
Not ultra-low ...
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You scratch your head.
You rack your brains.
You're in the red
From fixing drains
On site, and yet,
If you stayed put,
You'd have less debt
And shed no soot ...
To stay in biz,
You mustn't roam:
Your saviour is
To work from home
And fix the loo
With plumbing drones—
So you eschew
All Ulez zones!
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